Hole

I want a hole. I've given up on using my fist.

But in the search of significance and the long slow walkabout toward healing....
I just want a tight hole.

Not very enlightened. Not Christlike at all.

Why am I angry today? I "got off" last night --even in the exact way I hoped.

So the anger isn't really about sex, or even about getting my own way (unless I'm still angry about the three days in a row when I didn't get it before last night).

I know one thing, I'd like a hole to rub against for about two or three minutes. Then the drug would be released in my body and I'd feel better.

Mabye not for long. Maybe not better in many ways. Maybe not even better.


But that's what I want.