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So, tonight I was hoping for some lovin'. Why? Well, I'm going away tomorrow for several days. I often think, "She's going to get a break from sex with me (exactly what she wants) but I won't get any sex away from her (exactly what I DON'T want). " why do i feel sorry for myself when I don't get what I want, I quickly associate her saying no to me as her not wanting me.

Last night she was too tired so... NO SEX (if feels like nothing, but I guess she did give me conversation, a meal, care for my kids, companionship, etc.

So, no sex last night, and no sex tomorrow or the next night or for three more nights!

She could have given to me sexually last night, but she decided not to because she was tired. She's not a robot or a porn actress pretending to live just to pleasure me, but I'm pissed off thinking about how I'm not getting any sex for a lot longer than I'm used to. She knew we weren't going to be able to be together for almost a week, but after a long and hard evening with the kids all on her own (I worked a double-shift) she was again tired. So I talked to her and listened to her and was there for her in ways that I thought she'd appreciate most. But then at the end she was too tired to feel like giving to me in the way that I wanted most. She could have, but she's no robot or sex slave.

So no matter what I do, sometimes she'll say no. There's no avoiding it, no escaping it. There's no sex slave to pleasure me and give me an escape from the fact that I have to go cold turkey through these times when what I want doesn't match what I can get.

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