I still have the thoughts (not quite voices), but they don't carry that punch anymore. I woke up horny today, a bit frustrated that I couldn't do anything about it.. But my mind moved on pretty quickly.
What happens when I screw up? The other day I forgot I had turned on the bath and it flooded the bathroom, and even dripping down through to the ceiling and into the kitchen! How do you process the facts of a screw-up? I want to ignore it and move on without even taking onboard.
When I crashed my new vehicle as a teenager, I wanted to bury myself in a hole. I wished I could have un-born myself. It was like my view of myself is linked to what other people think, and I remember imagining neighbours driving by our house and seeing my truck with the roof crushed. I'd imagine them thinking what a looser I must be. That threatened me with the idea of actually being a looser!
So, it's okay to screw up. It's okay to make a mistake (Being perfect isn't gonna earn me his love and making mistakes aren't gonna cause me to loose His). I don't have to follow my drive of habit to run away from the facts of my mistakes. I don't have to quickly bury them. It's okay. She can be angry or upset or dissapointed. Emotions are okay (hers and mine).
