self-inflicted abstaining?

How long will I keep this up? She was pretty tired the night before last. I'd had a "good run" of nights of lovin'. So I said goodnight and rolled over.

Didn't sleep great, but not too bad. Next night I got the idea to try to

a) not try for sex again

while

b) not having an attitude or pouting about it.

I think I did okay. Now I'm wondering if I can keep it up for a few more days. When our friend went on a mid-week breat without their kids, she reminded me that we'd be having more sex than them! I shouldn't be spiteful, but... "Ha!!!!" maybe not!!!

I gotta work to not withdraw from her during this exercise. I should still be affectionate--if not overly sexual. It's about thinking of her needs and not trying to manipulate or express my frustration in a round-about way.

I've managed abstinence alright when I'm away (hotel porn doesn't help tho). So a handful of days shouldn't be a problem. It's a lie that I "need" sex almost daily. I can be kind to her at the same time that I'm not getting it. Can't I?

It kinda feels good to have this challenge which I stumbled into. Kinda cool to flex these muscles of self-control and selflessness. I pray I can keep going the way I started out here!

blah

It's Fathers' Day. So the addicted part of me is looking to get rather than give. Of course the sweet homemade card the kids made me isn't really what I was hoping for. Neither is the t-shirt she bought me from the mega store where she goes shopping every week. How do I feel? Bitter, angry, cheated. The kids were out for a little while and I decided to not broach the subject of "some lovin'" because I knew she can't get into it in that time-frame. She wouldn't get any enjoyment out of it. She'd prefer to do whatever else. And I decided to not ask her to be so giving to me.

If I wait for her to get the idea to do something out of the ordinary as far as lovin' goes, will it ever happen? When will we "do it" somewere else, at a different time? God will you give me the strength to give that up and over to you. Then if it never happens I can be happy and okay.

I'm gonna try to not take out my anger on her tonight, try to have a good attitude and think about her. Wonder if I'll be able to not try for sex and do those things at the same time.

Three Questions

Integrity Date:

Hungry, Angry Lonely Tired (Sick, Sad, Stressed, Scared & Shameful)

When tempted, ask myself what am I feeling?
What can I do to meet the need?

Hunger, relational or spirit hunger
Anger: confrontation, exercise/physical release

come up with an action plan before-hand for most common ones.

When I feel hungry, I need to ___________________________________ .

Does God want "enjoyment" from my experience with sex?

How can I align my sense of my need in sex with God's requirements

prayer, does that help?