True impact of Porn

She is tired and doesn't have the energy to talk and connect (a prerequisite for sex).  I feel angry or resentful, and continue to do so the next morning.  I've brainwashed myself using porn.  Now I think she should always be there, ready 'on tap', willing and enthusiastically keen.  Porn takes the male perspective of always horny, ready in seconds, stimulated by a little visuals.  Then it portrays women that way.  Well it used to, back in the 80's when I was formative and consuming it a lot.  So I've programmed myself to see it as default and normal for us to start sex for no reason, with no real preamble.  I've focused on the physical and obsessed with the orgasm.

I pray that my brain will be mouldable again, this time to see her as her own self, with different turn-ons, and especially for me to see her as more than just sexual.  Praying isn't enough.  I need to talk to people about this, I need to write about this, reflect on it and keep doing my meditations.

The characters on Brooklyn 99 joke about porn in a way that trivialises, normalises it and ultimately endorses it.  Cool-cool-cool-cool-cool-cool.