Thursday, January 25, 2007

Rock Bottom?

So orgasms don't fix anything (mine alone, mine with her, even both of us together).

They make me feel good to some extent or other, but I'm feeling hollow and empty.

Seems every interaction in life just kicked off a chemical high. What's the point?

There must be more to life.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Lie Detector Tested?

Lie DetectorFolks at Blazing Graces were talking about how polygraph (lie detector) can help with accountability. Weird, but I like when he pointed out that us addicts have to learn that lying doesn't work, it's like not paying your taxes. It'll eventually catch up with you.

on a personal note, on New Years', at about 2am, I found myself wide awake. I was in an unusual house that happened to have sattelite tv. I didn't realize that I was exaclty on 4 months since my last M, but I gave in. I'm glad to have told her the very next day and it was great to be see things accurately enough such that I wasn't expecting her reaction to be reallly negative (for a change). She's always great, but I usually am so overwhelmed with guilt and my own expectations that drives me away from being honest.