Hestatant Stepping

There are some things about the 12-step vibe that bother me.  I think I might understand it a little better.  There's a negativity that I sense in the meetings and in the 12-step speak.  Maybe it was self loathing or shame.  I heard of addicts resigning to being managing their addiction for the rest of their lives, admitting that they'd be working the program forever--it sounded fatalistic and pessimistic.  I didn't want that. 

I thought of it differently the other day.  Self Loathing is what people come into the rooms with, and sure I can sense it's there.  Of course there is plenty of sickness in a room of addicts, not perfection (but progress).  The hope and growth turns these negatives into a positive:  humility. 

Yes, you can see your weakness accurately and have a sober assessment of your dependence on your higher power.  But that's not the same as self loathing.  Shame to grace is the slogan for S.A.A. and the people I respect the most have a humility that isn't negative at all.