Monday, December 03, 2018

Connecting the dots

My friend is amazing.  She is an author and a public speaker.  She gets paid to teach therapists.  But more amazing is that she was severely traumatised as a very young child--yet she helps therapists to help people who's story is like hers.  She was abused.  She was raped.  She was even used in the production of pornography when she was very young.  Horrible, but she is a real inspiration now.

Learning a bit about her story has made me think differently about my own porn addiction.  She has made real the victims and survivors and abused who are the fodder of porn.  I can say I've never had anything to do with porn involving children.  I'm not attracted to violent porn either.  As a matter of fact, before I gave it up for good, I was finding more and more of what's out there follows a theme that disturbs me:  aggressive, demeaning, suggesting violence.  What is this shit about choking?  Who gets turned on by that?  And girls gagging is supposed to be a hot?  Anyway, today I made the connection between the 'innocent' porn that I spent years using and the children who are abused--like my friend was.  And she was three years old!  It's the same industry.  It's all the same world.  The free porn on those websites "everyone" uses is getting more and more horrible.  Plenty of people use that then find they need more aggression, more violence.  They get turned on by 18-year olds in cheerleading outfits, but then some must move on from women to high school girls.  By participating in the "legal" and "bonafide" porn industry, I was still contributing to the bigger world of pornography--the one that abused my very good friend when she was only a three year old!

I'm so sorry, I don't know how I avoided seeing this before. I knew intellectually that stripping and prostitution and porn are all linked. But I guess I felt better justifying myself saying that looking at mainstream porn had no connection to illegal porn.

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