Okay, the two weeks are done. We had a respite from this emotional separation when the cold and sniffing and coughing didn't dominate. But now her period has started. Last night she asked me what I wanted to do on my last day off. I was immediately agitated feeling that I shouldn't want what I want and better not admit it. I'm still pissed that we didn't once go to bed during the day. She stayed in bed one morning and that was nice though. So you don't get good sex just because it's New Years Eve, or Christmas or your anniversary. You have to have the right attitude, work at the relationship, and hope that all the stars are lined up correctly (something that you can't predict or control). Periods, colds, visitors, phone calls....
So I can hope for things, but that doesn't mean I can have them. It's not wrong to want intimacy and sex, but I need to move on when I don't get them. At the wedding this week I was reminded that I've promised to love her in sickness and health. So her cold is sickness and I've struggled loving her while it took away our intimacy. Damn. I feel like a spolied kid wanting my Christmas present, but finding myself in a grown-ups body and seeing that Christmas isn't for me anymore.
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