1 week down, 1 to go

Been off work a week for the Holidays. I've been pissed off as she's been coughing and cold-filled. I've not been particularly empathetic towards her. But everytime I hear her sniff or snort or hack, I'm reminded how she's not gonna want to be affectionate. We've gone though the motions most every night. But because it's an emptiness in me that's the real problem, of course I've still not been happy.

So, all I've wanted for Christmas is to go to bed in the middle of the day with her once or twice. If things keep going like this, it ain't gonna happen. I'm so damned picky, when I think of something that I want, I want it--and exactly! It doesn't make any sense to be angry at her--she doesn't want to be sick either. She probably thinks it's more unconfortable for her since she's the one with the cold. But I am pissed off, and I am credulous that she's not seemed to want to come near me for this entire week. It makes me pretty damned annoyed to think of her like this for another week. Damned. I have thought about being thankful for what I have. But failing writing these illogical thoughts and feelings down here, I don't know what to do about it.