Counelor's Questions #2

Write a few sentences about your relationship with Sex growing up. What did I learn good, bad? What did I bring about my relationship with Sex from childhood into adulthood?

Now ask the same questions replacing sex with #1, Mom, #2, Dad, #3 God.

Sex
My relationship to sex growing up was overshadowed by shame, guilt and taboo. 90% of the time it wasn't discussed. I became obsessed with it early on. Chronc masterbation, instead of being a phase of puberty became a permanet part of my daily existence. I learned loads of good things about technique, but I came to experience orgasm as a consumer and as a temporary treatment to a permanent hunger. As an adult I've learned to not be ashamed or guilty about sex, and I've learned (at least in my head) that sex is about celebrating my marriage and it's about mutual giving rather than one-sided taking.

God
The first word that comes to mind when I think about my understanding of God as a chld is, "catholic" which means untreatable guilt and God as a big scarey guy watching from far away, just waiting to hit me with a lightning-bolt for making a mistake. I did get that God and Jesus are one, and that Jesus died on the cross--and that it is very important that He did. I've brought into the present a difficult imagining God being close, intimate and really interested in me.

Dad
My relationship with my Father as a child had been my biggest problem growing up. I think I really minded him not being encouraging and emotionally available. The fact that he wasn't around much for me after he divorce really dominated my memories of my childhood relationship with him. My Dad expresses love by giving money and sometimes time, but not open converstion and never emotionally. I always wondered deep-down whether he really love(ed,s) me accept(ed,s). I think I buried my anger at him, maybe because if I expressed it I was afraid I'd never get that love or acceptance or closeness I so needed. Good things I got from my relationship with him include a love for my family, a dedication to providing a good life for my family, and leadership in many ways including fun in the home! I brought into my adulthood an akwardness about being close and open with my father, a nervousness and "need" to please and be affirmed by him.

Mom
My relationship with my mother...