How it works, not deciding from the addiction

I heard that addiction was about the way relate, not about sex. I kinda knew this sounded like it made sense, but now I have an example of it.

Just now I realized I had misplaced one of my credit cards. *R$$£^%$^%$!! Anger! Frustration! thoughts like, "Stupid!" float around near my mind, although they've not really been given voice in my head this time.

I immediately think of my partner. She's gonna be angry. dissapointed. She's gonna want to figure out where it is and stop everything to track it down, call and have it canceled. I don't want the grief and I'm too tired to do all that work now. I wanna make this go away. I wanna escape. I don't wanna face it.

But, for some reason.. I did. I told her within 5 minutes of it happening. Amazingly, not really surprisingly, she was great. Not angry. She did suggest the last place I might have used it. Rang them up, and they had it! So, facing the distasteful truth proved to be fine, the best, and surprisingly advantageous! All endings wouldn't be that storybook, but it shows the decision I had to make and how it could have gone wrong so easily. This decision making process is deeply connectected to the addiction & porn.