not so good

Maybe I've just come down from a natural, normal high.

But I was doing fine and everything was cool, then I thought how much we're talking about other people and mundane things and I thought, "I wish she'd spend a fraction of this much energy on pleasing me sexually". That was all it took. Spiral, big time!

I was annoyed and angry for the rest of the night. I tried talking to her about how she is what what she wants, but I really just wanted her to exist for me, specifically, sexually.

So being honest enough to admit how I was feeling brought nothing of any use.

I went to bed angry with her offering a flippant sounding hope that I feel better and that it is prbably "just my emotions".

I reeled and raged, jealous that she's so at peace and no unmoved. I didn't particuarly want sex, I would have accepted that, but I was kinda feeling bored and in a rut. I cried out inside, "Jesus" and eventually had a fitful sleep.

Woke up angry in general, angry at her and others.