Monday 19th May

So last night I tried to get her to help me let go of some of the bits that I'm struggling with, but she was unusually firm. She wouldn't get rid of any of her clothes as part of a symbolic act where I'd give up and let go of my obsession with wanting her to wear sexy clothes. She said I needed to do the work and she didn't want to get rid of any of her clothes!

Was I being manipulative? Was I trying to say, "wear these sexy clothes for ME, or just get rid of them!"

I am grateful that we have such open communication, but I can't communicate about my wants and needs because the anger that surrounds them all are drowning out everthing else.

Even as I think about writing this entry, my mind wanders toward the images of skirts I could include in this post, but that's not helpful for my purposes.

I woke up this morning dissapointed and unsatisfied for the disconnected orgasm I'd had before falling asleep. I thought the best thing I could do with this day would be to go to sleep early (she's got one of her social nights out tonight).

But I got a call from a friend who's struggling, so hel'll be coming over. Praying together has got to help.