What a Difference...

..a day makes.

What a difference an instant makes! I was thinking that she's tired and we've had a good run, I want her to see lovemaking as a pleasure, not a chore, so let's just take that step & say, "Good night". Her body language was tired and not affectionate. But I hesitated, thinking "we won't do it in the morning, she won't do it during the day tomorrow either. She might not do it this time tomorrow either.

So in an instant I went from being cool and on top of everything (sleepy and ready to sleep) to cross and and livid and appauled! I need to get rid of this anger 'cause it's not her I should be angry at.

On one had I don't want the orgasm, if it comes with her being disinterested and detached. Oh, that pisses me off. The lie and fantasy shows excitement, pleasure from giving pleasure. What a slap in the face to take a reallly sexy thing like doggy-style and remove the sexiness from it and add disinterest and detachment to boot! ARGGGGGHHH!

I am amazed at my capacity to want and want and take and take. I enjoy good lovemaking and I'm wanting to nudge her to do it somewhere else. I am blessed that she gives me BJs, and I'm thinking of how I can get her to do me before we get to bed.

Damn, I can't even get these thoughts together.