So work is something I've written about a few times before. I am finding it hard to get motivated. I feel the hopelessness and I feel left out. I have very little motivation and the smallest challenges seem too much. But it's my bitter attitude toward others who do well that really bothers me. Is this a bitterness that's always been covered by my drug until now?
It's like going back to school and being afraid of competition, doubting myself and wanting to withdraw in the face of challenges. Strange thing is I've faced and overcome many many professional challenges while I had M$ as a crutch, so it's not like I this makes sense.
I'm not a loner with no one who cares. I don't need to be jealous of everyone who seems to be part of something. I'm part of something too. I've got a God who is loving me and helping me. I have a beautiful partner who's committed herself to me for life. I have worked and been blessed to have earned a good position of respect and expertise in my career.
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