So I'm in completely new territory now, uncharted waters, a future that's unknown (like in Terminator 2). In other words, I've exceeded my record of 8 months (I'm at nine months now!). I did go to a website for no reason except to be titillated yesterday. Fortunately I stopped there and didn't go any further.
No sex last night. Slept fine. yea! I'm not even obsessing about it. I'll probably forget that fact several times throughout today.
There's a self-destructiveness connected to this addictive stuff that is very slippery. It shows up in overeating, isolating myself relationally, even my work ethic and career. I know I it would help me to get on and get motivated and get stuck in, but I feel so tired and blah and annoyed and irate that I usually don't.
If I work better, I'll feel better, my relationships at work will improve (I'll feel better), my career will improve (I'll feel better) and I'll feel better! So when will I do it? God, please help lift me out of this pit. Please help me find hand-holds to climb out.
2 comments:
Hey
I have been encouraged by your blog and struggles.
I have been recovering for the last 16 months. No porn since then & only a couple of M in the last 6 months.
God has been doing some deep, restorative work in my life and marriage.
Press on!
Jeff in Raliegh, NC
Cheers for commenting Jeff.
I'll keep on keepin' on.
You do the same. God has prepared good works for us to do, and as we kick this addiction in the teeth, we're able to enjoy it, enjoy Him, our families and life!
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