The Bible tells me to not hold grudges, not keep a record of wrongs. I think I'm doing worse than that, I'm keeping records of times I haven't got what I wanted! Calling myself silly or stupid doesn't help.
Last week or two seems like my old idiom, "Nobody Does It Daily" has been true for me. Would you give me any sympathy if I complainted to you that I've only had sex an average of once for every 48 hours? If you've been in a relationship for more than 3 years, probably you'd love to have these kinds of statistics! If you have children, you'd probably shoot your drink out of your nose in amazement if you were told this was even possible!
But here I am, married for many years, with young-ish children, still simmering and grumbling because she said no to sex with me again! I know none of my friends are as fortunate as me, but I'm getting less orgasms and sexy stiumulus than I did with my old life of porn and the shameful "M". So, just thinking as I type here, is it a good trade to have less shame, even with it costing me the sexual stimulation and mental and visual images?
Maybe not, but that's not the only difference. If I carried on down the path of selfishness and addiction, it would (and I'm not sensationalizing or exaggerating here) eventually cost me my job, my wife, my family). It's just inevitable.
So, the better question is... Is it better to feel you're being denied an orgasm every other day, or live with the fact that the most important things in your life are utimately going down the tubes while you feed this insatiable hunger for more, more, more?
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