Things are good, things are better, but they're still the same in some ways.
I said goodnight and rolled over and went to sleep last night, was a little frustrated and tossed for 5 or 10 minutes or so, but slept fine and was almost "myself" when I woke up in the morning.
I had an idea for a guideline of hoping/trying to not expect/want/initiate lovemaking EVERY OTHER NIGHT ("no one does it daily", as the tagline goes).
Good news is I've not wanted to "M" much at all, regardless of the circumstances. I can see by my buisiness trips away that it's not that big a deal to go without for a few days.
I also see I've been kinda ANGRY about all sorts of silly little annoying things in life. I only recognize it now because I'm usulally not so angry now anymore.
A recurring thought I keep having is, "Why Can't I Have ______ ". Even if it's just an idea for the way I want to organize something in the home, I feel really hurt and appauled that I can't "HAVE MY OWN WAY". Logically, I can see that there's a more sensible or practical way. I can see that it's more work and doesn't make sense. But I feel wronged and like I should be able to have this one little thing. Selfish, childish (self-parenting, again). Maybe as I reel against the injustice of not being able to control the whens and how-manys of my orgasms, I am particularly touchy and sensitive about other things that I want.
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