RollerCoaster Ride

Last night was another first. Staying here in France, with their sexy terrestrial TV, I’d turned it off to go to sleep. But after about thirty minutes of lying there, I reached over to the remote and turned the TV on again.

There was a familiar face, Emmanuel. It was a softcore porn movie series that I’d watched as a teenager. I fought between rubbing myself but wanting to hold on and not orgasm. I struggled and told myself that if I cum I’ll have to confess it and reset my counter on HA blog. I was closer than I’d ever been, it could have happened several times, but somehow I managed to hold back. Another shitty night of sleep. Damn, that’ll make it harder tonight too.

But I can think back at it as giving me confidence and good experience that I can stop, and more importantly I’m not suffering from “blue-balls” I’m not helpless. It’s seemed like a rollercoaster that once I get to the top, there’s too much momentum and too much gravity and speed to do anything but get that solo release.