She asked me what I would like for my birthday today. What I'd really like is a day together with her enraptured by me. Unfortunately you can't buy that. You can't order it or schedule it or plan it. Even asking for it could be the midas touch. I've just gotta lower my expectations and shrug my shoulders.
See this morning was one of those "sleep late days", one of the few times the kids watch TV and we're free and undisturbed. I felt angry and cheated seeing her sleeping and dozing and uninterested. So, I either got out of bed and had to not resent her, or I could be affectionate and see if she could be won over or not. I didn't want her to just go through the motions. I didn't want her to just do it for me, but you never can tell when or if she'll warm up and get turned on. So I try to be laid-back and easygoing, but I don't know how much success I'm having.
This morning she doesn't get turned on much, but I sure do. She pleases me, but I wonder whether I was selfish or demanding. Am I chipping away at the health and pleasure of our relationship by asking too much? Will she not want to quite the same so much in future because I keep asking for it too much?
Maybe, mabye not. I feel physically satisfied, but empty in another way. Could I have stopped once I saw she wasn't really interested? That's a challenge.
No comments:
Post a Comment