less than an hour after my last posting, she came and propositioned me. I was still sitting there at the comuter after typing in my "woes", 15 minutes later I was happy as a pig in sh*t and all my problems seemed to never have existed.Last night she didn't want to. I wasn't really surprised or too upset. Minutes before the "fatal" words were spoken I was almost asleep, fighting to stay awake. Ping-ponging back and forth whether to give up and suggest we go to sleep and not try any sex. I knew thats what she'd want, but it was still difficult to suggest it. Then she said those damn words. I rolled over. Got really angry. Found myself wide-awake from the near rage.
As I was laying there hoping I wouldn't soon hear her snoring, I had a new thought. If she would offer sexual relief, I'd turn it down. I just wanted to be "IN CONTROL". I wanted that more than the sexual relief itself. Hmmmm
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