It was good that I decided to not have sex the night before last, it was good the way I thought about it and saw it realistically.
But I slept shitty.
And I wanted a reward of having sex the next night without having to connect (also a kinda punishment).
It was screwed up enough that while we were starting to do it, that I thought, "I should just stop, we're not in the right place for this". I didn't, but thinking about it was a first.
I'm angry that I'm not in control of when and how sex happens. I''m not in control of my kids annoying habits.
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