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It's Fathers' Day. So the addicted part of me is looking to get rather than give. Of course the sweet homemade card the kids made me isn't really what I was hoping for. Neither is the t-shirt she bought me from the mega store where she goes shopping every week. How do I feel? Bitter, angry, cheated. The kids were out for a little while and I decided to not broach the subject of "some lovin'" because I knew she can't get into it in that time-frame. She wouldn't get any enjoyment out of it. She'd prefer to do whatever else. And I decided to not ask her to be so giving to me.

If I wait for her to get the idea to do something out of the ordinary as far as lovin' goes, will it ever happen? When will we "do it" somewere else, at a different time? God will you give me the strength to give that up and over to you. Then if it never happens I can be happy and okay.

I'm gonna try to not take out my anger on her tonight, try to have a good attitude and think about her. Wonder if I'll be able to not try for sex and do those things at the same time.