Good Lap Time

Last night was the first time I had sexual pleasure right in front of me, but I knew it was detached and was not as it really should be. I decide to do what was right (rather than what I wanted) and yet I had some good feelings!

Let's imagine what God might say, taking into account what I know He's like:

"Well done! I know how difficult that was for you. That was such a big step! I'm so proud of you. It's getting easier, isn't it? It will continue to get easier and better. Hang in there. I'm with you every step of the way. It was great you going several months "clean" but this is even better!"

There's no way pushing my wants can work. If she reists then I get nothing. If she agrees then either she's pissed off or she's detached. My fantasy for her to be "gagging for it" is impossible. Gotta stop 'cause no matter what, it ain't happenin.