This addiction is really a bottomless pit.
I'm pushing, wanting demanding so much.
When she doesn't want to, when she's not "in that place"
I lower my standards and try for whatever I can get.
At this point, I'm going down the road of selfish and putting sex where it shouldn't be (like a drug).
Because after I've been graciously given an orgasm, I am left feeling guilty (cause I know I shouldn't have "taken" it) and I still feel cross and empty--now the excuse is that she, "Didn't want me".
So, lovemaking is there to make me feel wanted, but when I can't have it properly and I push for "the act" I'm still not feeling "wanted".
This doesn't really make any sense.
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