So things continue to get better. I've almost forgotten how many days it's been since we "did it"--which is a milestone in itself. I think it was two nights ago.
It was great how easy I found it suggesting we go to sleep tonight. I was a bit cross this morning, and a little angrier when the phone rang and a friend asked her to have one of their kids. I felt angry and left out, as if everyone elses demands are fine, jealous that I didn't have all her energy to myself.
So the silly graph shows that things are still getting better. It also shows how my perceived acceptance and occurrences of us making love are almost identical.
Porn says you can enjoy 100% desirability and sexual satisfaction, with no effort on your part!
You can get an orgasm with very little work, but it costs money for the porn and you get "infected" with these harmful lies. How I wish I hadn't dug a twenty five year hole that is now so hard to climb out of and not fall back into!
But, it's worth it. I am thankful that I've been somehow given a determination to not give up and not quit--ever... regardless.
Things are really improving. When in a situation that a mere month ago would bring irrational and strong obsessive thoughts, now I have those thoughts, but I can dismiss them easily and I see them as absurd (like everyone else!) finally!
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