Greener Grass




I remember being really annoyed and angry at my kids primary-school assemblies (equivalent to US grade-school production).  I had pride, joy at seeing my kid, the cuteness of all the little ones, the surprise of how much they've grown and how quickly they're growing up.

But I was angry.  I was horny and sex obsessed and upset that I left work and went back again without any "action".  Maybe I was jealous that the attention was not on me.  But most of all I was struck at how seeing rows of parents sitting in these little plastic kid-sized school chairs was so far away from a fantasy.  We weren't particularly attractive.  We weren't sexy.  We were ordinary.  We were 'just' parents.

Now I am in the next stage of life, and still seeing how it isn't a fantasy and it isn't hollywood.  I was invited to a friend's fiftieth birthday party.  That's fine, but looking around, so many people at the party were not attractive, not sexy;   They're often grandparents!  The focus of folks lives aren't about the hope of their future possibilities.   They aren't looking at their whole lives ahead of them.  They're middle aged.  I am too.  The ideal imaginary person I'd enjoy connecting with, maybe flirting with, would be a daughter of someone my own age.  Creepy!