1) It's not about the frequency of sex. She asks, "why are you angry/upset that we're not having sex right now, as we've just made love this morning/afternoon/last night, several times this week?
It's nothing to do with how often. Addiction is a bottomless pit. It's practically impossible to get "enough", so try to remember it's more about not being in control than the frequency. Not getting sex is painful, but other points of pain also trigger wanting sex.
2) It's not about you--often. Romance gets left behind by sex. Sex gets overshadowed by the orgasm. You're the reason for the romance, and you're there. But sometimes you get left behind.
3) We might not know why we are feeling these feelings. We are feeling so many feelings: anger, shame, frustration, hopelessness, yearning, emptiness... and we're feeling very horny.
I realize talking through feelings is very helpful. But it needs to be with the right person. Don't take it personally if a good counselor is needed rather than you for some of this rubbish. Sometimes you're too close to be the one for the addict to talk out his strongest feelings. You might not be the best person to objectively hear his pain at not having his pain relieved. Maybe that's because you're the person who holds the power to give that sexual relief. But you are so important, he's so fortunate to have you. You personify real love, faithfulness, perseverance and steadfastness! You Rock!
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