Less to get better

I've been expecting and wanting and trying to get more and more sex.
Good news is that it's only from my wife, but she's got fed up. I
took the painful decision to agree some sort of regularity for us to
do it. I'd love that to be 3 times a day, in different placed, out of
the house as well,

But I knew I needed to suggest something more realistic and less
demanding of her. I said "every other day". 3 or 4 times a week.
Both when I said it & when I played it back in my head a few times
over the next few days too.

I did secretly hope she'd say, "no, I couldn't, wouldn't live without
your sex for that long!". But of course that's the lying fantasy of
porn.

She did almost initiate sex the next night, starting me out ahead of
our agreed "quota".

Now it's been two days without, I feel I should downplay it and
pretend it's no big deal. I hope we do it tonight ( as were not doing
it before bedtime ).

She wishes I didn't always choose it over sleep. I understand her
desire for me to be free, but I still wish she'd want it more.

It was truly painful