So I suggested we make love less. My hope that she'll resist shows how far these stupid fantasies from porn of insatiable sex mad women has gone.Anyway, making the decision isn't the hardest part. I've been resentful & angry & sad. Do I really think that I can change things by protesting? I want to process these feelings in a healthy way. Maybe I'm not being manipulative. I dont know if the hurt is exaggerated by me in hopes that pity will move her to give me what I want.
Honestly, brutally honestly, I'm feeling angry that she's "making" me go through this. I'm feeling hurt by my unmet desires & want to punish or at least withdraw from her. Not nice. These are the raw selfish broken ways--hopefully it doesn't get much lower or twisted than this. Godly sorrow -> tue repentance. Shame be broken by this being out in the light where truth and freedom and healing live!
No comments:
Post a Comment