She's strong, I'm appauled

Read an excellent book Boundaries. She's reading it now & it's helping her to see that her feelings and wants are important too.

All that good stuff yet I'm livid that she said she didn't want to do it last mint. Why not? Because she's free and it's not a burden. She was annoyed at me and didn't feel like it. It had only been two nights since we did it. But I'm appalled & powerfully driven to challenge or plead or any other word that means convince or control her . It's like I can't let go & get past her saying no & I think she owes it to me. I can't think about anything else and don't want anything except to "put right" what seems so wrong. I have been changing my "fuck. Fuck! Fuck!" expressions and cries to "Die! Die die" but the newness has worn off & it doesn't seem so useful anymore.