Why am I so angry that she doesn't want to "do it" before bedtime? I'm not just angry that she doesn't want to tonight, or that she didn't want to last night, or the night before, or as many nights before as I can remember... I'm angry at the thought that she's very very rarely ever going to want to. I'm shaking my clenched fist furiously at God for the truth that exciting, thrilling, spontaneous and surprising sex is gone...
I accept that it wouldn't be mind-blowingly fantastic on every level. I understand that it'd be quirky, or it could be a miss more likely than a hit. What really infuriates me is that whatever I settle for, isn't going to be on offer. If I go for romantic, slow, drawn-out lovemaking that starts with talking and talking--nope. If I just try for a quickie, no fuss... no muss... Nope again.
I think I should be thankful for the sexlife we have--which is great really. "Sex is a blessing, not a right". But I still burn at the fact that, no matter how good it is, it's boxed between the boundaries set out by the kids, work, her energy, the phone, friends, neighbours, builders, sleepiness, interruptions, distractions, etc.
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